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An Airy End

‘Twas a dark and stormy night

Thundering above.

Both were spoiling for a fight,

With lots of push and shove.


He came at her, stiff and proud,

Fierce face quite absurd,

He flashed down from a cloud,

Yes, he was a bird!


She stood her ground, looking mean,

Sharpened claws ready,

He failed to brake or lean – or

Even steady.


Down, down he came, careless freak.

Heedless of his fate,

He opened wide his beak

And, oh, dear, mate!


Because he was just a sparrow,

Even though all heart,

Through the  lion, like an arrow

Out as a little…!

  Music by Suno AI

Clever Dick


Richard was a man

With a nasty trick:

He lived by a nasty plan - to

Make people sick.


He also was extremely capable

Of seeing quite a-far.

Sadly, this was not debatable -

He really was the star.


How he did it, nobody knows,

People got ill in dozens and scores.

Aunties and cousins and folks without toes

Fell to his baleful, distance-ignoring, sickening blows.

While nobody twigged that he was the cause.


So, did this all mean

That people, as such, would end,

No matter if they were enemy or friend?

Would it just take time

Before all would be gone,

That there would be no one left on Earth

For me to befriend?


Well, no! Of course not!

That could never, ever be the decree.

Though we know there’s coming 

A getting-the-wind-up squall that’ll

Envelope us all - the ubiquitous CGP.

But, as you can see

I am here, quite well, and indefinitely me.

About Richard? And his sickness attack?

Did he achieve, for long, his horrible murderous spree?


No, he did not, his ailful glare in fact

Encircled the globe

And stabbed him in the back,

Just behind his temporal lobe. 


Too late he’d learned

What’s known by 

Even the lowliest worms -

And certainly by Old Nick -

Never dismiss such archaic terms as

Alas and alack!


And try your very best -

Whether God-fearing or ag-nos-tic -

To pass the gold litmus test -

And never be a Clever Dick.

Never be a Clever Dick.

Down Under Land 

Australia! riding the rail across

Flat red plains.

Australia! soaring a sail across

Golden grains.

Ancient artists from dream time days

Entrancing wild things – a rainbow show

Forests of flowers, a dream time blaze
Elegant buildings from long ago.

Australia, Australia, Australia!

C’mon, take our hand!

Get up, get up, and get over to

Down Under Land!

Grab your coat, row a boat,

Fly a plane, steam a train,

Teleport, come on sport! to

Down Under Land!

Australia! trekking the trails across

Low high hills.

Australia! swimming with whales across

Blue green thrills.

Ancient rocks from dream time days

Delightful theatre – the world’s our stage

Infinite beaches to dream time laze
Nightloads of parties – they’re all a-rage.

Australia, Australia, Australia!

C’mon, take our hand!

Get up, get up, and get over to

Down Under Land!

Grab your coat, row a boat,

Fly a plane, steam a train,

Teleport, come on sport! 

To Down Under Land!

  Music by Suno AI

Ev’ry day is Opening Night 

Get out, get in, get up, get round -

All the world's a stage!

He said it then, and he was right,

Writ large on every page.

All the world's a stage, my friends, you

Know this over all, so

Get out, get in, get up, get round -

It's time for curtain call!


The curtain is up, the lights are ablaze,

A buzzing fills the air.

Melodies rise as the orchestra plays

And excitement's everywhere.


The curtain is up, we're rarin' to go,

They're standing in the aisles.

What can we say at the start of the show

Up here's a land of smiles!

Life is such a marvellous thing-

We never know what tomorrow might bring,

So whether you're pauper, a poet or a king

Come, join us as we sing:


The curtain is up, the lights are ablaze,

A buzzing fills the air.

Melodies rise as the orchestra plays

And excitement's everywhere.


Come out, come in, come up, come round -

Come to showtime's fair!

For countless years we've trod the boards

And acted everywhere.

All the world's a stage, we know, where

You can have a ball, so

Come out, come in, come up, come round -

It's time for curtain call!


The curtain is up on our day of days,

We're singing with such might!

Happiness hangs across all of our days

And ev'ry day is op'ning night!

  Music by Suno AI

An Airy End ‘Twas a dark and stormy night Thundering above. Both were spoiling for a fight, With lot

Flower or Bee? 

Round and round and round it goes,  

Like a bee, a bumblebee, a humble bee. 

From flow’r to flow’r love grows 

Silently, so stealthily. 

Hearts begin to pound, astound - 

But not a bee, not any bee, nor any bee 

Could he paint love’s…glorious sound. 

Is he a flow’r, is he a bee? 

Oh, Fleurs-de-lys, 

Oh, Fleurs-de-lys,

Oh, Fleurs-de-lys,

Oh, fleurs, oh fleurs, oh fleurs, Fleurs-de-lys.

Round and round and round it flies,

Like a bee, a lovely bee, a honeybee.  

From flow’r to flow’r it…sighs, 

In middle C, or is it E?

An elvan bee, an elvan bee – 

All hearts aglow, begins to…flow, starts and grows,

But what is it, an…elvan bee? 

Nobody…knows, just nobody knows. 

Oh, Fleurs-de-lys,  

Oh, Fleurs-de-lys,

Oh, Fleurs-de-lys,

Oh fleurs, oh fleurs, oh fleurs, Fleurs-de-lys.

Round and round and round we hum, 

Not a bee, not…ordin’ry, 

From flow’r to flow’r a…drummetty drummy drum, 

Thump, drump…stumpingly…cleverly.

Off the ground, without a sound 

Not very slow, well hello! By the…sea

Maybe we have…sinn’d, or never found - 

Is he a flow’r, or the bee? 

Oh, Fleurs-de-lys,

Oh, Fleurs-de-lys,

Oh, Fleurs-de-lys,

Oh fleurs, oh fleurs, oh fleurs, Fleurs-de-lys.

Round and round and round I swing,  

Is he for me, my elvan bee?   

From flow’r to flow’r, I sing. 

Is he my destiny? 

He and I, bound by a sigh. 

Is that all, or do I lie in wait and see? 

Can love deny, or say goodbye? 

Is my dear elvan bee for me? 

Oh, Fleurs-de-lys,

Oh, Fleurs-de-lys,

Oh, Fleurs-de-lys,

Oh fleurs, oh fleurs, oh fleurs, Fleurs-de-lys. 

Round and round and round it goes,  

A flock of bees, quite flighty…honeybees, 

Just hopeful beaux, who knows -  

Love…eternally? 

Round and round and round it goes,

From flow’r to flow’r, higher, higher, bursting free

The lows and highs, the highs and lows -

Sometimes the flow’r, sometimes the bee.

Oh, Fleurs-de-lys,

Oh, Fleurs-de-lys,

Oh, Fleurs-de-lys,

Oh fleurs, oh fleurs, oh fleurs, Fleurs-de-lys.

  Music by Suno AI

I Love a Cliche


…I want to

Put a cat among the pigeons

A flea in someone's ear,

Engage in a flight of fancy,

To sink some really small beer!

I want to sail across the seas

And plumb the ocean deep;

To do exactly as I please,

And have my beauty sleep!


Yes, I know these are all hackneyed phrases,

You know, the proverbial whatsisname,

But, no matter what you say, come what may,

It's OK by me, thanks all the same!


'Cos I want to

Fight the good fight, all ends up,

And have an axe to grind,

Know just how many beans make five,

To say, 'How terribly kind!'

I want a fair crack of the whip,

Come home on the pig's back;

Go on that fabulous trip -

But, of course, on the right track!


Yes, I know these are all hackneyed phrases,

You know, the proverbial whatsisname,

But, no matter what you say, come what may,

It's OK by me, thanks all the same!


…'Cos I want to

Burn the candle at both ends

And go from bad to worse,

Never 'be there always for my friends' -

Know it all, chapter and verse!

I want to drown the impossible dream

And never have enough,

Ford the deepest bloody stream

And to never give a stuff!


Yes, I know these are all hackneyed phrases,

You know, the proverbial whatsisname,

But, no matter what you say, come what may,

It's OK by me, thanks all the same!


…'Cos I want to!


Thanks, mate!

  Music by Suno AI

Lost Dogs, Home


Macleod had a crowd

Of dogs one day,

Running here and there.

They’d done what wasn’t allowed –

Got out to play,

Owners unaware.

Ross came back 

No Cob, no Joe!

Alas!  Alack!

Oh woe, oh woe!


Up and down the streets he went,

Garbled prayers to heaven sent!

Language, no doubt, hell bent!

But he, like the dogs, on the scent!

Ross came back 

No Cob, no Joe!

Alas!  Alack!

Oh woe, oh woe!


First he found the younger pup,

Happy as a lark,

Playing with a buttercup (?) and

Puzzled at a tree’s rough bark.

Ross came back 

No Cob, just Joe!

Alas!  Alack!

Some woe, oh woe!


Then word came of number one –

Our story nears its climax –

Cobby was spotted on the run

Down at the barracks.

Ross came back 

Soon Cob? Still Joe!

Alas!  Alack!

Some woe, less woe!


There she was, with the troops,

Marching up and down,

Dropping stuff that needed scoops,

But now a dog of renown!

Ross came back 

Now Cobby and Joe!

Too much, too slack!

No woe to show!


And so it ends, this tale of tails,

Which I’ve had to relate,

If you don’t want any wails then

Lock that bloody gate!

Lock the gate, my son,

Lock the gate.

Lock the gate -

Don’t let them run.

Lock the gate,

Wherever you are,

Coz being dogless

Just ain’t fun.

No, being dogless

Just ain’t fun.

It just ain’t fun!

  Music by Suno AI

My Town 


My town is far from the city’s noise

With red gums shading the stream,

Where swallows soar and flash their wings, and

Small boys start to dream.

My town is down by a river bend,

Where summer lasts all year,

Where children dive and swim like kings, and

Ev’ry thing is clear.

Come on down to my town, my town home -

Come, come with me,

Come with me, come and see my home town,

My Australian home.

My town is high on a mountain side

With blue gums touching the sky,

Where wild birds laugh and sing strange songs, and

Dreamers start to fly.

My town is up among the hills and trails

Where winter rims the air,

Where children sing of billabongs, and

Hope is ev’rywhere. 

Come on down to my town, my town home -

Come, come with me,

Come with me, come and see my home town,

My Australian home.

My town is down by the rolling sea,

With white waves washing the sand,

Where seagulls wheel across the bay, and

Dreaming fills the land.

My town is down by the ocean waves

Where salt air fills our lungs,

Where children play life’s holiday, and

All the world is young. 

Come on down to my town, my town home -

Come, come with me,

Come with me, come and see my home town,

My Australian home.

  Music by Suno AI

Say ‘Hello’ to Yourself


Say 'Hello' to yourself, ’cause you’re okay,

It’s not so hard to do.

Take the world as it comes

Day by day,

It’s really up to you.


Say 'Hello' to yourself, come what may.

Take the world as it comes

Day by day.

It’s really up to you, so


Let us run as well as walk,

And let us shout as well as talk,

Fill the sky, fill the air, fill hearts everywhere,

It’s really up to you, so


Let us laugh as well as cry

And let us love until we die,

Fill the sky, fill the air, fill hearts everywhere

With life’s lovely song.


Say 'Hello' to yourself, ’cause you’re a friend,

It’s not so hard to do.

Treat the world to your smile,

Don’t pretend

It’s really up to you.


Say 'Hello' to yourself, come what may.

Treat the world to your smile,

Day by day.

It’s really up to you, so


Say 'Hello' to yourself, ’cause that’s the way

It’s not so hard to do.

Light the world with your laugh,

Ev’ry day

It’s really up to you.


Say 'Hello' to yourself, come what may.

Light the world with your laugh,

Day by day.

It’s really up to you, so


Say 'Hello' to yourself, ’cause you’re okay,

It’s not so hard to do.

Take the world as it comes

Day by day,

It’s really up to you.


Say 'Hello' to yourself, come what may.

Take the world as it comes

Day by day.

It’s really up to you.

Yes, it is really up to you.

  Music by Suno AI

Someone’s Calling


Oh we are such lovely girls

We always want to please.

We always do our best

To help our families.

At home or up the street

We’re mother’s little helper,

And if baby gives a bleat

Most certainly we will whelp her.


Someone’s calling, calling to me.

Someone’s calling, but I’m deaf you see!


My Mummy is very sweet,

Very sweet to me. (Someone’s calling!)

She gives me all I want,

I’m happy as can be. (Someone’s calling!)

I’m just a little child,

Tender and a blessing.

Sometimes just a little wild –

Dispensing salad dressing!


My Daddy is very old,

Just like eternity. (Someone’s calling!)

He cannot take a joke,

He’s going to murder me. (Someone’s calling!)

I found some funny sticks,

Covered them with mud;

Used them to play little tricks

And coloured them like blood.


My brother is such a brat

He drives me quite insane. (Someone’s calling!)

I’ve tried so many times

To lose him down a drain. (Someone’s calling!)

I often baby sit

With my baby brother,

And I would not care a bit

If he should start to smother.


My Granddad is very queer –

He dines on warm honey. (Someone’s calling!)

I told him that I thought

He must have been a bee. (Someone’s calling!)

He turned a shade of red,

Just like our tomatoes,

Then he grabbed me by my head

And played some obligatos.


My sister is very thin

And has such knobbly knees. (Someone’s calling!)

She wears a miniskirt,

I’m sure her knee-caps freeze. (Someone’s calling!)

I don’t like her at all,

I can’t stand all her airs.

When next time she goes to a ball

We’ll see what else she bares!


Oh we are such lovely girls

We always try to please. (Someone’s calling!)

We’ve always done our best

To help our families. (Someone’s calling!)

When we grow up like you,

Have children of our own,

We’ll lock them up in the zoo

And throw them each a bone.


Someone’s calling,

Calling me to tea.

Someone’s calling,

And I’m so hungry!

The Cavalry 


A kangaroo and a kiwi

Sat down to dinner one day.

Said the kiwi to the kangaroo,

‘Before we eat we pray.’


They sat there, the national pair,

The kiwi and the ’roo,

Replied the latter to the former,

‘Well, then, go on, cockle-doodle-do!’


But just then up flew a kooka,

Who landed in a tree,

And promptly said to the prior two,

‘How about a prayer, and some food, for me?!’


Well, one and two looked up at him

Perching near the sky,

And said, together, huffily, ‘If you must,

‘But wouldn’t you rather fly?!’


Before an answer came from the leaves

Other voices joined in:

Echidnas, parrots,  wombats and frogs!

Clamouring a dinner din.


Birds and beasts and creeping things

Came from near and far.

Even a flock of barrister birds

Looking for a muesli Bar!


Overhead the sky was dark

With more and more arriving,

Our ’roo and kiwi began to kark - 

There was now no chance of surviving!


Yes, pretty soon we were all over there,

Shrieking our culinary wishes,

Hundreds, thousands, millions of fable,

Seated, raucously, at kiwi’roo table -


Thank God for loaves and fishes!!

The Highborns  


All of us Highborns, 

Live above the rest,

We love to look down on them 

Because we are the best.


What gives us Highborns 

A life with little rest?

Tradition and good fortune,

From east to far off west.


It’s true that all are born, 

Though not all born on high.

Enlightenment entitlement

Enables us to fly.


Where each of us is equal

Among our family others - 

And procreate our sequels 

With fathers making mothers.


It’s true that here on Earth

One’s worth is not measured

By one’s girth, 

Nor the colour of one’s eyes,

But we’re to be pleasured 

And should be treasured 

From depths to boundless skies.


Everyone is born 

Though not all born on high.

Some attempt to trumpet our horn

Forgetting that pigs don’t fly.


So how do you join our illustrious clan,

To ride with our privileged elite

On the correct side of the street?

Be a von, not a van! 

And all the others 

Have the grace to 

Know their place: 

Making it all complete.

The Land of the Green and the Gold   


Spoken

Where do you take me, Australia?

Why do you have such a hold?

What makes Australia my country?

My land of the green and the gold.

Sung

It’s the colour of the green

It’s the colour of gold

It’s the heat of the day

And the bite of the cold

It’s brown creeks and blue hills and friendships untold

It’s sights and seas and folks that please:

It’s the land of the green and the gold -

The land of the green and the gold.

Spoken

Where do you take us, Australia?

Why do you have such a hold?

What makes Australia our country?

Our land of the green and the gold.

Sung

It’s the colour of the green

It’s the colour of gold

It’s the never say die

And it’s breaking the mould

It’s splendid achievements and lambs in the fold

It’s towns and plains and flooding rains -

It’s the land of the green and the gold -

The land of the green and the gold.

Spoken

Where do we take you, Australia?

How do we keep such a hold?

What makes our country Australia?

It’s the land of the green and the gold.

Sung

It’s the colour of the green

It’s the colour of gold

It’s the face of the young

And the grace of the old

Explorers and trackers and bushrangers bold

It’s dreams and words and flights of birds

It’s the land of the green and the gold -

The land of the green and the gold.

Top of the World


I’ve been walking in the shadow’d valleys,

Not sure where to go or what to do;

Found myself alone in darken’d alleys,

All alone, a rendezvous in blue, (but)...

Climbing up towards the top of the world now,

Up to the sky, where I can fly!

Come climbing with me far above all your cares now,

Come on, get out, get rid of your doubts.

There’s a new world for you,

Where we can share the joys of friendship with each other.

At the top of the world there’s sunshine and laughter

Ev’rywhere there’s joy and song in the air.

What’s the point of always feeling sadly?

Why should I let the world get me down?

No matter that things seem to go so badly -

Must dress myself in a diff’rent gown!

Climbing up towards the top of the world now,

Up to the sky, where I can fly!

Come climbing with me far above all your cares now,

Come on, get out, get rid of your doubts.

There’s a new world for you,

Where we can share the joys of friendship with each other.

At the top of the world there’s sunshine and laughter

Ev’rywhere there’s joy and song in the air.

If you make up your mind to take it on,

Doesn’t matter, really, what you choose,

You’ll find those old worries of yours all gone,

And then you’ll find that you cannot lose, (’cos)...

Climbing up towards the top of the world now,

Up to the sky, where I can fly!

Come climbing with me far above all your cares now,

Come on, get out, get rid of your doubts.

There’s a new world for you,

Where we can share the joys of friendship with each other.

At the top of the world there’s sunshine and laughter

Ev’rywhere there’s joy and song in the air.

Doesn’t matter, really, what you choose,

You’ll find those old worries of yours all gone,

And you’ll find that you cannot lose,

It doesn’t really matter, what you choose.

The Kid From Bloody Hell


Oh my god, what’s that?

Looks like blood upon the mat!

Here comes more, and more –

Covering, pardon, the bloody floor!

What shall I do, I’ve got a bloody bum?

Yes, that’s it, call my Mum!


Mum!  It’s me!  Blood’s all the go!

I’d better ring triple bloody O!

Before they came, a bloody groan,

But, thank goodness, it was Joan!

She lives quite near, not really far

But still she scratched her bloody car!


Never mind, knocks at the door – ambulance men –

One, two, three…and four!!

There, there, sweetheart, we’re not too late…

Just tell us your bloody weight!

What’s that?  Seventy-nine?

I think you’re spinning us a bloody line!


Never mind, get in the van,

He’s obviously coming, your latest bloody fan!

Oh, dear, I’m getting thinner while

Bloody Geoff’s out to bloody dinner!

Never mind, it’ll be all right,

Tonight’s gonna be the bloody night!


Let him sit on the bloody sofa

Like all men a bloody loafa!

Like all women I bear the pain –

Here I go a-bloody-gain!

Not for me this time a bloody birth,

A knife across my bloody girth!


Not much more than a bloody nick –

Then out he came, bloody quick!

The moral of all this, I confess, is that

Life’s a bloody, lovely, mess!

What It Takes


What does it take, my friend,

To begin a dream?

A thought, a whim,

A hazy scheme

Is all that it takes to

Begin a dream.


What does it take, my friend,

To grow a dream?

Commitment and

A pleasant theme 

Is all that it takes to

Grow a dream.


What does it take, my friend,

To spread a dream?

The right time and

A proper team

Is all that it takes to

Spread a dream.


Well, that’s all very fine and true,

And if that was all we had to do -

The world would be drowning in

Streams of dreams!


So, what else is there, 

Oh, would-be entrepreneur?


Character and courage,

Seeing good in roughage!


Knowing that gain may be

Disguised as  pain;


Walking, crawling each extra mile,

All the time with style;


And finally, my friend who dares

To sip this cup,

Give love, and laughter,

And never give up.

That’s what it takes. 


 

Webmaster: Joshua Michaelson * Copyright © 2022 Ian Burns - All Rights Reserved.


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